Saturday, July 23, 2011

Hut, TWO, THREE, FOUR! til your eyeballs fall out. But it is worth it?

A bit of info here. My husband and I both have higher degrees from UCM. He holds a BS in Computer Science. I hold a BS in Biology with minors in CJ and Forensics. Yep! That means I know how to get rid of a dead body and investigate crime scenes!  I have a Master’s education in Criminal Investigation AND I’m a Licensed Practical Nurse for the State of Missouri. I worked for the State as a Corrections Officer before becoming a SAHM. So you’d think we were good at structure and normalcy. HA!

We are the craziest (and nicest) people you will ever meet. OK so I know what you’re thinking…(maybe). “These children wouldn’t be so unruly if they just had some structure to their day!”

Well you are absolutely right. I’ll give you what is supposed to be a master schedule for our home.

Monday-Thursday Schedule
6:45 am            I wake up
7:00 am            Everyone is now up. Medications given. Kids dressed. Breakfast.
7:15 am            Hubby usually rolls out of bed
7:30 am            Out the door.
8:00 am            Hubby dropped off at his desk. WKD at therapy preschool.
9:00 am            WKG dropped off at Day treatment.
9:15 am            I get my and WKM’s coffee. House chores/homeschooling/laundry
12:00 pm          WKM and I make something exotic for lunch. He has this thing for Asian food so Pad See ew, Pad Thai, Laab, or Sushi :-P
2:00 pm            WKG home from therapy. We work together on his chores for an hour.
3:00 pm            Get Hubby and WKD
5:00 pm            Dinner is cooked
5:30 pm            Family time
6:30 pm            dishes compete
7:00 pm            Evening meds given      
7:30 pm            all showers/baths done
8:30 pm            WKD down for bed (hopefully)
9:30 pm            Living room shuts down. Big kids go to bed.
10:30 pm          Hubby and Me time
12:00 am          Hopefully i get to sleep by then but WKD usually waked up at 3 am for "Nummy Time"

Fridays: same as above except since WKG and WKD are home from therapies that day we do a major family outing: Science City, The Zoo, Art Museum, or Natural Science Museum, etc.

Saturdays we usually have appointments for more DBT therapy and that is when I usually replenish the food my kids inhaled the week before. Sundays we attend church and enjoy friends company.

Sounds great right? Well since we live with mental illnesses anything can. and usually does, happen. Tuesdays Hubby sees marriage counselor by himself. Wednesdays at 2 is my turn. Wednesday nights is DBT therapy for WKM,WKG, WH and I. Once a week, WKG’s in home mental health case worker comes over. Every Friday, WKD gets Speech Therapy for his Deafness and Autism. Every other Friday, Wyrd Princess gets weekend visitation with her dad, who lives an hour away. Once a week we also have in home ASL lessons for the whole family.

So we try to keep things on the schedule. It makes for a quick fast paced day and the boys know what to expect.

And some days are fantastic. Like today,  WKD made eye contact while signing and saying “DADDY!”. . He even wore his hearing aids for more than 3 hours. WKM and WKG are dueling with YuGiOh cards and getting along. WyrdHubby notices more than my size K bra size and appreciates the clean house and yummy dinner. WyrdDotD calls to tell me that I was right. She IS a hoarder and has gotten all of her extra stuff to the Salvation Army. And my family says’ We love you Mom, you rock!” yeah, …those days happen. :-D

Thursday, July 21, 2011

**Warning: contains fake cursewords and lots of CAPS**

OK so here I was all excited. WEEEE I have a blog and I am gonna put in an entry like EVERY OTHER DAY! (cause that’s how I roll)! Weeee I LOVE Facebook. WEEEE I have a twitter account. And I am just scooting along all over the net enjoying the love that is “LAPTOP” and “WORLD WIDE WEB”…. and then IT HAPPENS!

!!CRASH!!   !!BOOM!!    !!BANG!!

**insert plenty of @(T$)*&@)($&@) here**

My laptop hit the floor.…hard.

I begin to rush through all the stages of grief at once in a span of like, 10 seconds:

Denial: I KNOW I just did NOT drop my laptop. Anger: CRAP I really DID drop my laptop! It’s the stupid bookcase’s fault! And who put that marble there on the floor anyway?
Bargaining: Well maybe if I just pick it up and brush it off, it will be just fine.
Depression: Ooooh Nooooo! It’s broken! **lots of sobbing at this point**
Acceptance: Oh, well. I will just have to find another way to spend my time. Like scrubbing walls, or brushing the dogs, dyeing therapy rice………

But then, RAPTURE!    

My geeky WyrdHubby comes running in. “What happened? Give it to me! I can fix it!”

Diagnostics: thankfully just a cracked and very much dead screen. Hubby states that since we live with WyrdKidG and WyrdKidD, and they have so much as LOOKED at my laptop, then the warranty was void a long time ago. He, like a sweet smart Aspie hubby that he is, orders a replacement screen and drags a HUGE archaic monitor from down in the basement.

Once again, my world has been saved! And my sanity lives to be tested for another day….Thanks for tuning in.


**Confetti! Confetti! Confetti!** 

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Doctor is in

So school is almost here, another nightmare I am not quite ready to endure. He first day for the Wyrd-O’s – in – training is August 24. But that I didn’t think my hell would start so quickly.

WyrdKidM had his check up 2 weeks ago. All went well. We discussed proper nutrition, peer pressure, how NOT to start smoking and drinking, and the joys of checking for testicular cancer and hernias. (Men, are you feelin’ yerselves up properly? ☺) We even talked about sexuality!

We have an open door policy in our home…you have to when there’s one bathroom for like, 7 people! We talk very openly about EVERYTHING! From masturbation to sexual orientation. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

However, WyrdKidG’s visit wasn’t so squishy. To start it was way early for him. About 8:30 am. At least the doctor wore a bow-tie. That earned some points. J But then it got very uncomfortable for WKG. He had to answer questions about his bowels, his Autism and things you don’t tell a “stranger”. That part took over an hour. Next came the hernia check. NOT good if you are sensory-sensitive. Then after the hernia check, WKG learned that instead of needing 2 shots, he really needed 4, possibly 5!

Here is where the trouble began. The clinic was short handed so they couldn’t tag-team like they would a toddler or infant. That is where two shots are given simultaneously to minimize the experience. WKG also needed a venipuncture blood draw to see if he had antibodies for chickenpox. His records didn’t show that he received the vaccine. So that poor boy got stuck 5 TIMES back to back with no break. After the 3rd stick, I had to hold him down and he was screaming. He even tried to run out of the room.

Here’s the dilemma. Me, being a nurse, knows that the shots are very important for him. He gets pneumonia almost every winter. And his sinuses and ears are prone to infection as well. But at the same time I didn’t want my son to have to go through all of that.

The rest of the day, I had to endure a bipolar, pissed off, fever stricken, “FUCK YOU!” Autistic teenager.

Go ahead. Tell him it was for his own good.

Friday, July 15, 2011

My Warrior


This kid has been through more crap in his 13 years than most people go through in a lifetime. He was born in the usual way; on a hot September morning. The pregnancy was normal. Cravings, prenatal care, and morning sickness included. He was an observant baby. Except he didn’t really smile. He was observant and would analyze his surroundings. Then he became mobile and that was when the “fun” began.

When he was 12 months old, he used his toes like monkey paws to climb out of his crib…Every night! (Which is why I now co-sleep)

When he was 15 months old, he used a kitchen chair, a phone book, his booster seat, and the countertop to construct an amazing tower…to get to the Oreos on top of the fridge. (I thought for weeks that very smart mice or WyrdDotD was getting into them…she hates Oreos…another story for later)

That same age, he could get a full gallon of milk and pour himself a glass using the floor as balance so he could dunk said Oreos.

When he was 20 months old he started sneaking out of the house by undoing no less than 3 dead bolts…because he wanted to play outside at 2 in the morning. I started sleeping on the floor in front of my apartment door because he would still get out of bed by crawling over me. It was then he also started reading books that I had never read to him before.

When he was 2 years old, he used 2 pumpkin-carving saws to open a locked car in the parking lot……he wanted to honk the horn. It wasn't our car. :/ He did it again 3 weeks later because Mommy locked HER keys in the car :/. I let him honk the horn as a reward...might as well.

When he was 3 he cussed out his teacher because she was FORCING him to sit in Circle Time to learn his colors. And I quote, “I can SPELL my colors, you BITCH! Y-E-L-L-O-W! Yellow! I’m going home!” He managed to sneak out of the classroom, made it down the hall, out the main door, across the parking lot and across the street.  He then walked the 3 blocks home. He was halfway up the stairs to the house before they caught him. They took him back to school and called me. I had to go get him anyway because he was cussing out the Principle.

When he was 4 he was showing signs of altered mental processes. He would never color outside the lines. He would get very angry if he couldn’t form his letters correctly during manuscript lessons. If someone used an exaggeration, he would start to cry. Example: “Raining cats and dogs”. He was unable to use any form of his imagination. If you asked him what if cars had square wheels he would simply say, “They don’t.” If you asked him to draw a house with no windows, he would refuse because he said it would fail building and fire codes. But he could complete a 1000 piece adult puzzle in 5 minutes and was learning multiplication and division.

Of course, I was highly scrutinized. I was a single black mother with 3 young children. I had little higher education outside of high school and I was underemployed. No one really focused on WyrdKidG. They just thought I was a lazy parent. He would not get completely diagnosed with all his mental illnesses for at least another 10 years.

Jump ahead to 2010. After many tests and evaluations, in home workers, therapies, and school suspensions, my learning to advocate for not only WKG but myself as well, paid off. His support team got bigger. We got smarter. And the mental health professional community finally listened and determined that my brilliantly intelligent and emotionally delayed child was, and is, one of a kind.

WyrdKidG has, to date, 5 **co-morbidities, 4 of which I can describe here:
I Asperger’s Autism:  Asperger’s is a lifelong developmental disability that affects the way a person communicates and relates to people around them. People with Asperger’s have difficulties with everyday social interaction. Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people's emotional expression.

II Bipolar-II Disorder: Bipolar disorder is an illness that affects thoughts, feelings, perceptions and behavior ... even how a person feels physically (known clinically as psychosomatic presentations).  

III ADHD: Children with ADHD generally have problems paying attention or concentrating. They can't seem to follow directions and are easily bored or frustrated with tasks. They also tend to move constantly and are impulsive, not stopping to think before they act. These behaviors are generally common in children. But they occur more often than usual and are more severe in a child with ADHD. Adults and teens with ADHD may have difficulty with time management, organizational skills, goal setting, and employment. They may also have problems with relationships, self-esteem, and addictions.

IV ODD: ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile, and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school. Many people with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression), and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder. With conduct disorder, more violent acts are performed such as harming other children as well as destruction of property.

WyrdKidG is fully aware of all his illnesses. Most times he thrives, or even just gets by, on the love he receives from us, his family. Other times, when it gets bad, he’s crying and raging, destroying everything in his path, all while wishing he was “normal”. We hold him, kiss him, and love him and explain that no one is ever truly normal. We fight the good fight every day until we win. That’s why we are Wyrd…and he’s my Wyrd Warrior.

I love you WKG.


** Thank you WebMD for providing straightforward objective definitions to the conditions listed here. (in other words, please don’t sue me.)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wyrd doesnt even cut it.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything is so surreal that is could only happen in a Made-For-TV movie?

Actors:WyrdMomma (Me, obese, chocolate-inhaling, family secretary), WyrdHubby (uber-geek-extraordinaire), WyrdDotD (20, Fantastic Artist, bipolar, recently moved out...maybe?)WyrdKidG (13, bipolar, Asperger's, ADHD, etc...) WyrdKidM (16, GAD, ADHD, amazingly funny, heart of the family), WyrdFairyPrincess (8, loves pink and purple, has claws, and mad Ninja skills)WyrdKidD (adorable, 2, Deaf, Autistic, and refuses to wean), WyrdDog-J (130 lbs, 18 months old, and all of black Labrador and stupid) and WyrdDog- M (sweet, fat, hairy, german shepard mix, 4 years old and much smarter than the other dog)

WyrdKidG started out fiesty and ended with WyrdHubby taking the bus to work. A Wyrd typical day:

6:45 am
If I'm lucky WyrdKidD lets me sleep until 7. Mostly likely I wake up to the tormenting-teeth nashing- breastfeeding whurlwind that is Little D and his adorable verbal tic of "Da! Da! Da! Da! DADEEE!!!"  3 cheers for co-sleeping with an autistic child.

7:00 am
I finally crawl out of bed to find WyrdKidG is already up and has every light on in the he ate everything in the fridge....I get him to change his clothes because they are already dirty and covered with food and he has day treatment today.
WyrdHubby decides to wake up and take the bus because WyrdKid G doesn't want to change his clothes or take his meds. WyrdDotD calls for the 10th time in 24 hours to see if I got her 9 other messages. She's moving...again.

7:30 am
WyrdKidD starts mooing like a cow...with feeling, he is completely undressed after getting him dressed, and is now licking the walls. WyrdKidG flies into a rage because he wants 3 sandwiches for lunch and breakfast using an entire package of cheese and lunchmeat. He calls me a bitch, his dad a jackass, then locks himself in the family van setting off the alarm twice. He has the set of keys with the fob on it. The dog pees in front of the door because I couldnt get there fast enough,. Hubby comes back to the house with spare van key. He decides to drive us to WyrdKidD's preschool.

8:00 am
WyrdKidD finally at therapy preschool. no shoes. no hearing aids. Hubby finally takes bus from there. He's mad at me because somewhere in the past equation, I hurt his feelings. **crap**

WyrdKidG dropped off at day treatment. He says "I love you, Mom." He has 2 sandwiches for lunch.

9:00 am
I arrive back home. WyrdKidM wakes up, takes HIS meds without being asked or reminded, cleans up after the dogs and takes them for a walk, comes back and gives me a hug, and says "Good Morning, Momma. Have a Great day!", gets online and home schools himself in Geometry (even though he hates it with a fiery burning passion)

I'll try, WKM, I'll try...