Have you ever had one of those days where everything is so surreal that is could only happen in a Made-For-TV movie?
Actors:WyrdMomma (Me, obese, chocolate-inhaling, family secretary), WyrdHubby (uber-geek-extraordinaire), WyrdDotD (20, Fantastic Artist, bipolar, recently moved out...maybe?)WyrdKidG (13, bipolar, Asperger's, ADHD, etc...) WyrdKidM (16, GAD, ADHD, amazingly funny, heart of the family), WyrdFairyPrincess (8, loves pink and purple, has claws, and mad Ninja skills)WyrdKidD (adorable, 2, Deaf, Autistic, and refuses to wean), WyrdDog-J (130 lbs, 18 months old, and all of black Labrador and stupid) and WyrdDog- M (sweet, fat, hairy, german shepard mix, 4 years old and much smarter than the other dog)
WyrdKidG started out fiesty and ended with WyrdHubby taking the bus to work. A Wyrd typical day:
If I'm lucky WyrdKidD lets me sleep until 7. Mostly likely I wake up to the tormenting-teeth nashing- breastfeeding whurlwind that is Little D and his adorable verbal tic of "Da! Da! Da! Da! DADEEE!!!" 3 cheers for co-sleeping with an autistic child.
I finally crawl out of bed to find WyrdKidG is already up and has every light on in the house....plus he ate everything in the fridge....I get him to change his clothes because they are already dirty and covered with food and he has day treatment today.
WyrdHubby decides to wake up and take the bus because WyrdKid G doesn't want to change his clothes or take his meds. WyrdDotD calls for the 10th time in 24 hours to see if I got her 9 other messages. She's moving...again.
WyrdKidD starts mooing like a cow...with feeling, he is completely undressed after getting him dressed, and is now licking the walls. WyrdKidG flies into a rage because he wants 3 sandwiches for lunch and breakfast using an entire package of cheese and lunchmeat. He calls me a bitch, his dad a jackass, then locks himself in the family van setting off the alarm twice. He has the set of keys with the fob on it. The dog pees in front of the door because I couldnt get there fast enough,. Hubby comes back to the house with spare van key. He decides to drive us to WyrdKidD's preschool.
WyrdKidD finally at therapy preschool. no shoes. no hearing aids. Hubby finally takes bus from there. He's mad at me because somewhere in the past equation, I hurt his feelings. **crap**
WyrdKidG dropped off at day treatment. He says "I love you, Mom." He has 2 sandwiches for lunch.
I arrive back home. WyrdKidM wakes up, takes HIS meds without being asked or reminded, cleans up after the dogs and takes them for a walk, comes back and gives me a hug, and says "Good Morning, Momma. Have a Great day!", gets online and home schools himself in Geometry (even though he hates it with a fiery burning passion)
I'll try, WKM, I'll try...